A phantom tear and a cracking voice were all it took for Yellow Media to fall, quite predictably, for President BS Aquino’s latest political gimmick that was in full display during SONA No. 5.
Faced with growing public discontent over BADAP and a rising economy that is more imagined than real for majority of Filipinos, BS Aquino and his media strategists ditched the “Coke Zero Love Life” play book and cooked up something more daring by his standards. Let’s try crying…on national TV…amid BS’ declining popularity. Take note, try.
But all those body fluids had probably dried up ‘coz of heavy smoking so we saw only a hint of tear drop behind those glasses. Really, we watched the video clip over and over again but couldn’t safely conclude that His Royal Yellowness’ tear ducts had indeed cooperated.
Good thing there was Kris, the youngest and least talkative of the presidential sisters, the box office magnet who can’t pull off a dramatic scene sans Visine. For her Kuya Noy, we thought she finally managed to shed real tears in an acting tour de force deserving of a FAMAS Lifetime Achievement Award.
But the big story still was BS Aquino and how, in the glossy account of the President’s Daily Inquirer, his words “left not a dry eye” in the building. We know PDI, the yellowest of the Yellow Media, was prone to hyperbole in the service of BS. But not a dry eye? Talaga lang ha?
All the drama led news organizations like PDI to mindlessly parrot the words of BS, not bothering to confront his “facts” and instead settling for the narrative crafted by his political strategists and speech writers.
The nation was treated to a mindless enumeration of BS accomplishments that sounded eerily similar to those of Gloria Arroyo, aka SONA Punching Bag, who really started the trend of listing the number of TESDA scholars and CCT beneficiaries as SONA-worthy “achievements.”
BS should do his cray-cray act during rush hour at the Ayala MRT station, or at any of the kilometric queues at the LTO, SSS, or GSIS so he could really feel the agony of his “bosses.” Or at the wet market where there is remarkable growth–growth in the prices of rice and garlic. Then he should ask them if “noon” is the same as “ngayon.” The answer should really tear him up.
The truth is that after five years of “Daang Matuwid,” joblessness is stuck at 7 percent and growth has not reduced poverty. Growth is in fact tanking and held up only by the billions of dollars sent home by Pinoys overseas. If there’s anyone BS should really thank for saving his skin, it’s the OFWs whose dollars have kept central bank reserves in surplus.
But hey, we should be thankful ‘coz BS BFF Joel Villanueva is training lots of kids to be Starbucks baristas. And we should really be thankful for BS’ Cabinet secretaries for the really awesome job they did in Leyte. We’d like to nominate them for Anderson Cooper’s next “CNN Heroes.”
Governance and public service have so deteriorated in this country that BS Aquino wants us to be thankful for public officials doing their jobs. It’s like rewarding a jeepney driver for safely conveying passengers, or a cop for not picking your pocket when you asked for help.
That’s why all credit goes to the likes of Mujiv Hataman, a paragon of “Daang Matuwid,” the same guy BS appointed to an OIC position in 2011 with the assurance that he won’t run in the next elections. He ran anyway and won the ARMM gubernatorial race two years later. But who cares about broken promises when you’re a presidential barkada?
But if you’re a critic, you have no right to exist because the BS administration is a shining beacon of (self) righteousness. It can do no wrong. Plus, you’re a distraction to presidential multitasking akin to watching 200 TV channels at the same time. Imagine if BS woke up a little earlier for work.
BS is lucky the SONA media coverage has degenerated into a Hollywood-type red-carpet event, where there’s more meaningful discussion on gowns and couture and less attention to the “gut” issues. Next year they should fly in Joan Rivers to complete the matinee. Then we can all cry tears of joy for such a fitting finale to the saga of BS.
The Spin Busters 